Let it Go

When is it time to let something go and really move on?

I dated a guy back in college. Things were pretty good...We had our fair share of arguments but at the end of the day we had a love and bond that was unbreakable...or was it...While he was pledging to be a Sigma, we lost all contact...I would call, text, and nothing...At the time, I had no idea that he was pledging so by the time I found out, I had already set in my mind that he and I would end whatever it was that we had...We could remain friends but nothing more. After we got back in contact with one another, we tried to rebuild. We forgave each other for everything that happened before, during, and after his "pledging" took place, however, things had changed. Our lives were now on different paths, we argued more then before...so I decided that we should just be friends. 2 years later, he comes back around trying to get it back to where it was before...Am I wrong for not wanting to take a step back into the past because my belief is that when it's done it's done?

Our last few conversations haven't been like they used to. We used to talk all day everyday about everything...Now when we talk it's always about how I [Leslie] don't call anymore, don't care anymore, don't love anymore. I just feel like my heart isn't there anymore and I would be wrong to lead him to believe that it is still with him. He used to be one of my closest friends but now.......how do I close this chapter? I've tried to get through to him that "US" is no longer an option...I don't want to be rude and ignore phone calls and text...but whenever I try to come at him as a friend, he takes it to another level....

When/How do I let go...........................................

Confused

So what do you do when you find interest in someone, the feeling seems to be mutual but you find one person blocking the growth and development of any type of a relationship, and that person is the bestfriend who happens to be of the opposite sex?

So for instance, say you're interested in a guy but it seems like every time you see him, you also see his female bestfriend? I mean EVERYTIME...I have a lot of male friends but there's also a limit to the time we spend together. I respect his need and desire to develop a relationship with a female other than me lol. A relationship that may one day lead to something romantic. But how will you know if there is never any alone time?

He makes so many promises that he can't keep because he's too busy catering to the needs of his "bestfriends".

Am I selfish for wanting alone time?

Self Evaluation Part I

I had an interesting talk with a friend of mine this past weekend. He and I were discussing past relationships. He challenged me to find a recurring theme among all of the relationships and people that I have dated. So I jotted a few notes down...just to see if I could find such a fact...and I did...I've had a lot of men lie to me in the past...Of course in their opinion it was to "Keep me from being hurt" they were scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Why is it that every time that a relationship ends when for so long you were so open, that you decide that now is the time to hold things in? I think I'm pretty up front with my emotions and feelings...so why can't I receive the same respect? I have begun to realize that sometimes that their lying is a cover up of their true self.

I actually had a guy that told me he wasn't ready for committment which I found funny since he was the one that wanted the relationship lol. So I knew it was something deeper, and that he was keeping something from me...and then after I told him that it didn't matter how bad he thought it was, that I'd rather hear his reason then be left wondering. So he finally broke down and told me basically that it was because I wasn't some 5'7 model type chick...He loved my personality, he loved hanging with me, etc...but I wasn't his "type" lol how does that make sense?!?! It did explain one thing, and that was how shallow he was.

Now I won't say that I haven't made my fair share of mistakes in a relationship/dating...I didn't share my time or I pushed too hard but it doesn't excuse anyone from lying...

I am the type of person that needs closure to a situation...I hate wondering what if? how? why? what did I do? Somethings naturally don't work out, but when you fall off the face of the earth and never say why, that's what hurts more then anything...or when you lie to me in order to "spare my feelings" that hurts me more. Maybe that's just me. Maybe that's something I have to work out. Who knows?

Anyway, I know I sound like a victim here, but know that I have been the predator in some situations as well...So am I being punished for hurt that I caused someone else in the past?

I wonder....