Title vs. No Title

By putting a title on a relationship guarantee committment? If there is no title, but all points lead to a relationship, does that mean that you DON'T have to committ?

I was speaking to a couple of friends about this subject this week. If a guy and a girl, go out on dates, hold hands, talk all day, kiss, hug, are open and honest, etc. etc. basically in a relationship without a "title" does that mean that there should not be some level of committment from one another? By not adding a title to a relationship, does that give you the go to do whatever or whomever you wish because technically you're not in a relationship?

Luvsik

I lie awake now
Dreaming about you
The scent of you still invades my senses
The feel of you still haunts my sould
And I miss rolling over into you

I miss your embrace
I miss the taste of your smile
I miss the way you used to look at me
Eyes shinin' all bright
They were the windows to your soul
And I loved the way you made me feel

You made me feel strong
You loved me in ways I couldn't imagine
You made me better
You became my strength , my hope, my joy
You filled me with a love that most only dream of

But when you left, my heart lost it's rhythm
It lost its beat

The butterflies that once flutter within became wingless
The smile that used to be permanent, suddenly lost it's adherance
I became empty
Lifeless

But somehow in all of this, I still threw up your name
Luvsik
Captivated
Lost in the idea of lovin' you
Captured
A victim of your love venom
Scarred
Wounded
Raw

And I couldn't walk anywhere without seeing your face
Couldn't speak without uttering your name
What was once just a dream, had suddenly become a harsh reality
You were gone
You're still gone

And now...
my life just isn't the same

Monday's Makeover (Self-Eval Part II)

So after a positive and empowering weekend, I'm glad/thankful/blessed to be the living the life that I live...

God has brought me from a mighty long way. Even though I may not be where I want to be, I know that I'm where God needs me to be...I thank him for every opportunity/gift/blessing/trial/tribulation/triumph. Yesterday was an awesome time at church and reminded me that I must continue to BE a praiser and worshipper and singer and dancer and not just a participant in the activities.

My eyes are opening...

Pretty Women vs. Playoff Games

So last night, myself, and a few female friends headed out to 'The Park' for a social mixer/happy hour. We walk in and immediately notice the large number of men that had decided to come out for the evening. Excited by this discovery, my girls and I grabbed our glasses and posted up by the bar while waiting for our table. We watched as each man stared, smiled, and kept on walking. There was the recurring theme of "watch from a distance, never approach". We just laughed and blew it off because we said surely this can't be real.

Looking back, I realized that every male that we talked to, were men that we already knew. Some were polite enough and introduced themselves to the rest of the group. Others decided to only speak to the ones they knew and to keep it moving [Rude!]

From there, we headed upstairs to the "VIP Area" surely these men would be better, because they don't just let anyone upstairs...I was wrong...it was the same scenario. Men were engrossed in their own conversations and showed females no love.

While posted up at the bar, a man began to walk up to us. Finally! A man that has the guts to say something. So we prepare ourselves for the upcoming, exhilerating conversation and he says something along the lines of "I'm sorry, but you're blocking the tv" Say what?!?!?!?! Did this Ninja just ask us to step to the side so he could see the TV? Yes, yes he did!!!! The playoff game was on...but who cares! You are at a Club, not a Sports Bar...This is a Happy Hour, not the Championship Game...How in the heezy can you stand here and ask that question?! So we stepped to the side and he proceeded to bust through our group so that he could get closer to the TV... Foolishness!! Foolishness I tell you!!!!

As we were leaving...we spoke to some of the bouncers for 'The Park' and asked them what the deal was...They were from NY and married [but weren't wearing wedding bands, hmmm] They were surprised but not surprised by our discovery. According to them, "DC is a Down-Low City so what you found is not surprising" And that was supposed to be encouraging? How? Why?

I then thought to myself, well sir, how do I not know that you're lying about your marriage...I mean, you did move to DC, is this a land of opportunity for you to find a mate? How do I know that you're not gay since you said the majority of men here are? Hmmmmmm but I digress....

Anyway, so the most fun I had for the night, was watching the women throw themselves at men, just to be blown off lol...Amazing!!!

Lesson of the Day: Ninjas will be Ninjas...Don't block the tv while a man is trying to watch the game...

Highlight of the Night: Being called beautiful by two men in the park...

Good Day!

Comment!

Let it Go

When is it time to let something go and really move on?

I dated a guy back in college. Things were pretty good...We had our fair share of arguments but at the end of the day we had a love and bond that was unbreakable...or was it...While he was pledging to be a Sigma, we lost all contact...I would call, text, and nothing...At the time, I had no idea that he was pledging so by the time I found out, I had already set in my mind that he and I would end whatever it was that we had...We could remain friends but nothing more. After we got back in contact with one another, we tried to rebuild. We forgave each other for everything that happened before, during, and after his "pledging" took place, however, things had changed. Our lives were now on different paths, we argued more then before...so I decided that we should just be friends. 2 years later, he comes back around trying to get it back to where it was before...Am I wrong for not wanting to take a step back into the past because my belief is that when it's done it's done?

Our last few conversations haven't been like they used to. We used to talk all day everyday about everything...Now when we talk it's always about how I [Leslie] don't call anymore, don't care anymore, don't love anymore. I just feel like my heart isn't there anymore and I would be wrong to lead him to believe that it is still with him. He used to be one of my closest friends but now.......how do I close this chapter? I've tried to get through to him that "US" is no longer an option...I don't want to be rude and ignore phone calls and text...but whenever I try to come at him as a friend, he takes it to another level....

When/How do I let go...........................................

Confused

So what do you do when you find interest in someone, the feeling seems to be mutual but you find one person blocking the growth and development of any type of a relationship, and that person is the bestfriend who happens to be of the opposite sex?

So for instance, say you're interested in a guy but it seems like every time you see him, you also see his female bestfriend? I mean EVERYTIME...I have a lot of male friends but there's also a limit to the time we spend together. I respect his need and desire to develop a relationship with a female other than me lol. A relationship that may one day lead to something romantic. But how will you know if there is never any alone time?

He makes so many promises that he can't keep because he's too busy catering to the needs of his "bestfriends".

Am I selfish for wanting alone time?

Self Evaluation Part I

I had an interesting talk with a friend of mine this past weekend. He and I were discussing past relationships. He challenged me to find a recurring theme among all of the relationships and people that I have dated. So I jotted a few notes down...just to see if I could find such a fact...and I did...I've had a lot of men lie to me in the past...Of course in their opinion it was to "Keep me from being hurt" they were scared that I wouldn't be able to handle it.

Why is it that every time that a relationship ends when for so long you were so open, that you decide that now is the time to hold things in? I think I'm pretty up front with my emotions and feelings...so why can't I receive the same respect? I have begun to realize that sometimes that their lying is a cover up of their true self.

I actually had a guy that told me he wasn't ready for committment which I found funny since he was the one that wanted the relationship lol. So I knew it was something deeper, and that he was keeping something from me...and then after I told him that it didn't matter how bad he thought it was, that I'd rather hear his reason then be left wondering. So he finally broke down and told me basically that it was because I wasn't some 5'7 model type chick...He loved my personality, he loved hanging with me, etc...but I wasn't his "type" lol how does that make sense?!?! It did explain one thing, and that was how shallow he was.

Now I won't say that I haven't made my fair share of mistakes in a relationship/dating...I didn't share my time or I pushed too hard but it doesn't excuse anyone from lying...

I am the type of person that needs closure to a situation...I hate wondering what if? how? why? what did I do? Somethings naturally don't work out, but when you fall off the face of the earth and never say why, that's what hurts more then anything...or when you lie to me in order to "spare my feelings" that hurts me more. Maybe that's just me. Maybe that's something I have to work out. Who knows?

Anyway, I know I sound like a victim here, but know that I have been the predator in some situations as well...So am I being punished for hurt that I caused someone else in the past?

I wonder....