Dear God

Let's chat...

I'm in one of the craziest places I've ever been in my life. Someone walked up to me at church the other week and said "Leslie, I'm praying for you. You've had a lot of death in your life recently." I tried not to focus on the words that she spoke. Within the next weeks of this conversation I lost a dear friend, a Great Uncle, a church member, Another Uncle, a former teacher and friend of the family lost her husband, and my sister in law lost her godmother. This is all within 3 weeks. Some would say that it's too much. All of this on top of life's everyday struggles but your grace is truly amazing.

It's 1:21 a.m. and as I sit here listening to the song "Amazing Grace" I think about the many places you've brought me from. I think about the journey that I'm even on now. I've been questioning your plan for me. I've been wondering why you took me out of one place to be in this place I am in now. I sit...confused wondering if you have forgotten me. Wondering if you have left me. Wondering why I feel like I'm in this battle alone. I can't seem to understand why you keep taking people away from me and from the people I love. I've been praying and asking you for answers...wondering if you've already given them to me and I've somehow missed them. Have my eyes been closed? Have I been so focused on other things that I've missed out on what you have for me?

So I grabbed a book that a dear friend gave to me for Christmas. I've never opened it because I was too afraid to know the things you were asking of me. I heard you tell me that with Death comes life...that although I am losing some in this earthly life, that you are making new life in some of your children. You've been telling me that though this world is dying, that you need me, and others that you have called to continue to bring new life in to you kingdom. So as I opened the book and turned to the lesson for June 26th I read these words: "My child, you know how much I love you. And I'm so glad you love me in return! But sometimes, when you are loved and content, it's easy to become complacement. I do want you to rest in me, but I also want your help in making my love known to others. When my son walked te eather, he saw so many people in need of my love. He observed their confusion, their helplessness, their aimless wandering-like sheep without a shepherd- and he responded with active compassion. Do you see them too? You have the peace, the security that comes from knowing me. Won't you share that with someone whose life needs my healing touch? The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Will you be one of my workers?"

As tears poured down my face, I had to ask myself "Leslie have you been selfish all this time? Only thinking of what God has for you?" I had to remind myself, this journey isn't just for me, but for those that you need me to reach. I have purpose...there's a reason behind everything that I've been through, and going through.

So I'm making a choice. God I'm working for YOU and only You. There will be some who may not understand it, but that's alright because I know you didn't bring me this far to leave me so I'll continue to trust you. I'm yours

With all my heart,

:: Elle-Aye::