.: FrEeNeSs :. [Self Evaluation Part VIII]

Oh my goodness...Why in the world did I NOT set myself free a long time ago? I was causing myself so much unnecessary stress!! and for what reason? Was it because I was ashamed? [Well, yes, for a long time I was] What did I gain from being bound? [Stress, loss of hair, sadness, misery, etc.] Was I hurting myself more then helping? [Yes, OMG]

I was so selfish when I was holding all of that in...I didn't think about anyone the many lives that I was affecting by being bound. I didn't think about how I was keeping myself from fulness in God. Man oh, man...what a mess I made because I didn't listen when he was talking to me.

As most know, I recently publicly stated my Rape that happened 4 years ago. For 4 years I lived in shame. When it happened, it took me 4 months to even tell my family. Yes, I needed time to recover and heal from the process but in the process, I found myself more bound because I was too ashamed to share.

I have learned over the past 4 years, the truth to the statement: Everything happens for a reason...

Never in my wildest dreams, would I have ever thought that by setting myself free, that I would inspire others to be free. I thank God for my big sister Bunny...she was there for me probably more then most know or think. It was her freeness that inspired me. FrEeNeSs is like a chain reaction, and I already see it manifesting all through out church. So many people, young and old, male and female, have come to me expressing their appreciation. My reply/response is thankfulness that God used little old ME to inspire and encourage his people.

The most fulfilling moment thusfar since my FrEeNeSs was activated: Sitting at a table with 6 other co-workers, being able to speak freely about the Rape, as an example. We were in discussion about a girl that waited a long time to come out about it. Since most had not been through it, they didn't understand how REAL the situation is...Yesterday, I was stopped in the hallway by my co-worker who thanked me for being so open. She praised me for being able to speak about it...Why? because she's been bound by hers for 25 years. She still has trouble speaking about it. So we talked, and I just let God use me...and a conversation that started with sadness, ended with smiles and laughs...I thank God for using me...

So, life is just different now...

This joy that I have...the world didn't give it, the world can't take it away...

Set yourself FREE

Spread your wings like a butterfly


Be a beacon in the dark of night...You never know who's life you can impact by sharing your testimony.

But know and realize that setting yourself free is not a one step process. It's something that continues on...But know that the longer you stay bound, the happier the devil is...

Know that when you do finally set yourself free, the devil is going to be busy...But when you're free, and that JOY takes over, there's nothing that can take that joy away.

So keep fighting, keep praying. God can and he WILL bring you through.

As always, I'm always here with a listening ear...Free to love and free to share. I just don't want someone else to go through what I've been through.

Until next time...

Always [Love] Forever,

.: LA :.