.: Pieces of Me :.[Look where he brought me from]

How am I able to allow myself to be so open and vulnerable? I ask myself this question a lot. I really felt moved/led to share my story with the world. I've been looking back on where God has brought me from and I've been thinking about where he's trying to take me.

Will folks have a lot of questions after reading this? Absolutely! Will I be open and honest with every answer? Of course I will be! That's all i know to be. Anyways, brace yourself folks...This was written as a poem but it is a true life tale from the life of .: LA :.

We caught eyes as we lay next to each other in the bed that night...
I could tell from the look in your eye how bad you wanted me...
So you began...
You were kissing me and touching me...
Making me feel good all over...
Until you pushed a little too hard...
Suddenly what was once pleasure became pain...
Suddenly I felt the power and control I once had, slip away from me...
You continued to force yourself upon me...
As I resisted, it seemed like it was just fuel for you to keep pushing...
Fuel for you to keep going...
Fuel for you to keep hurting me...

I struggled to get you away from me...
When you had finally let up, I had lost all energy...
As I lay in the bed, tears began to form in my eyes...
As each one slid down my cheek, I was reminded of each second that you had taken control over me...
It reminded me of the lack of respect you had for me and my body
You were supposed to be my friend...

In a matter of 3 minutes, you had become my worst enemy...
In a matter of 3 minutes you had ripped my pride, my dignity, and my self-respect away from me...
You lied to me, deceived me and hurt me...

Do you know how I feel right now?
Do you know how it feels to have this emotional scar?
Do you know what it feels like to be degraded? Violated?
Do you know?

No, you don't know...
If you did, you wouldn't be begging for me to accept your apology...
If you knew, you wouldn't keep calling me trying to talk to me...
If you knew, I wouldn't be hurting so much right now...
If you knew, I wouldn't be living in fear right now...
If you knew, you never would've hurt me...

Written by Leslie Alexander
©2005


This post might change many of your thoughts/perceptions/views, etc. of me...I just wanted you to know one of the driving forces that was a part of the makings of ME. I didn't post this for sympathy, I didn't post this expecting anything special from anyone. I just wanted you to get to know more about ME. Feel free to ask any questions, or make any comments.

This post was for me...I've finally found the missing piece


Acceptance!!! For a long time now, I thought I had accepted what had happened to me. I realized that I was still using it as a crutch. I allowed it to keep me from trusting, from achieving...I still had wounds left unhealed. Not because they couldn't be healed, but because I wouldn't allow them to be. But I'm free! I'm more free then I've ever been before in my life. Yes, that one man hurt me, but GOD has made one man for me that will love me and honor, and cherish and respect me. God has made the perfect man (complete with imperfections) for me...and I intend to wait until that man finds me, and I him. The single life isn't easy but the reward is fulfilling. I intend to wait on God

I hope my story/testimony can help someone else that may be going through...

I'm always here, with a listening ear...

Always [LOVE] Forever,

.: LA :.