.: Epiphany :.

I have been working on this blog for a little over a week now. Struggling to get through it because my mind is so cloudy...



I sit now thinking about the place that I'm in. How unhappy I am...How unfulfilled I am...How happy I once was...* sigh *

The best way for me to release and let go sometimes, is to let the tears flow. But how do I do that, when I'm all cried out!! I seem to have run out of tears. I'm not sure of when and how I lost that joy I once had. I was doing so well for so long. One day last week I just woke up and looked around, thankful for another day but yet still empty. I've been thinking a lot over these last couple of weeks. I lost focus...I lost sight of the most person thing...I lost sight of God.

I found myself going home every night, and instead of reading my word, I spent that time sleeping, or watching tv. I kept trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I knew things had gone wrong after I broke my commitment to God. Ultimately, I got distracted, and I didn't even attempt to find a way to regain focus, but I must. I have to now. There's no way that I can continue saying that I'm a child of God, and preaching one thing and doing another.

I have to forgive myself...I've already asked God for forgiveness but in order for me to move on, I've realized that I've got to get past me and back to him.

So I took a major step which was a part of forgiving myself...I had to let go of a relationship that was keeping me from moving forward. It was a relationship that I was allowing to distract me from my relationship with God. So caught up in the idea of "having someone", that I lost sight of self. I was forgotten when it became US. Couldn't do it anymore so I let go. Did this person do me wrong? No, but I knew that I wasn't where God wanted me to be. I tried to be my own Cupid instead of allowing God to be the lead. I knew it wasn't going to work out, but it was what I wanted, even if only for a moment. But I had to let go...And now, I am working on the reconstruction of ME.

End Result: I'm still a work in progress...

Thankful that God is a God of a second chance! Thank you God!!

Leslie is still


So, I didn't realize how attached I was to my cell phone.



Last Wednesday, my BB went down for the count and never regained consciousness. At first, I was saddned by the death of Be-Be (as she was affectionately known as) But by day 2, I realized that it was what I needed. I spent 5 days without a phone and I was okay with that. When I got a new one the system was down so they couldn't sync my phone. Therefore, I lost all of my contacts. Thank you God!!! Sounds crazy right?!? But I looked at it this way, I've been struggling to let go of some people from my past. I kept trying to bring back people into my life that I know God was trying to take away. I need a clean sweep through my phone. I kept saying, one day, I'm going to need their number...Foolishness!!! What in the world was I thinking about?!?! I needed to let go...I wanted to let go but wouldn't allow myself to, but thank God for the broken phone!

It's just another step on my road to recovery :) I will no longer be addicted to the Crackberry!!!


Words of Wisdom for the week: Be not weary, in well doing. In time, it will come to pass. Set your eyes on things above, know that God is working on your behalf. :)--Thank you Hezekiah Walker and The LFCC! [I'm staying focused. This joy that I have the world didn't give it, the world can't take it away]

"Every SET BACK that we go through is a SET UP for a COME BACK!--Thank you Rev. Joel Olsteen

So, enough rambling for the day...I do have work to do :-)

As always, I'm hear with a listening ear.
Keep me in your prayers as you are in mine...

Peace and Blessings!

Always
[LOVE]
Forever

.: LA :.