There are no pictures today...No famous quotes...
I'm just a friend whose heart is heavy...
Abuse is Abuse...whether Physical, Mental, Spiritual, Verbal, or Emotional...it's all still damaging to the heart, mind, and soul.
When is enough, enough? As I sit in the background and watch a close friend continue to allow a man to verbally abuse her I wonder...When is enough, enough? For the last 5 years, I've watched as this man yells, curses, and degrades this young woman. For 5 years I've been a listening ear, I've offered advice, I've allowed her to cry on my shoulders...and again I ask...When is enough, enough?!
Has she ever tried fighting back? I guess so, if you consider yelling back at him fighting back...For me the ultimate victory would be picking yourself up, finding self love, and doing what's best for you and your family...
As I sat on the phone with her the other night and listened to the screaming match that she was having with her boyfriend, my heart grew heavy. How could any MAN or WOMAN disrespect others and themselves like that? I know what some may be thinking..."Leslie you're on the outside looking in. You don't understand..." Maybe I don't understand fully...but I also can't just continue to sit back and watch the disrespect that goes on between these two. The worse part of it all is that this happens in front of their kids. As I heard their son say "Daddy, don't talk to mommy like that" I had to fight back the tears. This is what their children are witnessing. That's the image that his children have to see...it's like they're saying yes son, it's okay to disrespect a woman by constantly yelling and cursing at her. Or yes daughter, it's okay to allow a man to disrespect you like this. Just shut your mouth and take it!
My heart hurts even now as I type this. It's not one persons fault, both are at fault...
As I hear her stories about how much time they DON'T spend together. How much they "say" they love each other but never have action to show it. The lies they tell each other...the emotional connection that they lack... .: Sigh :. When is enough, enough?
As I listen to Mya's 'Moodring' cd, the song "Taste This" comes on.
"Taste This"
I'm tired of this sh*t
I'm tired of these silly @ss games
I can't even look at you no more
And I don't think you'll ever understand
Until you get a dose of your own
It's your turn now
Crazy how I never use to say a single word
I just held in all the hurt, all this hurt
And I was so afraid you might flip out
And leave me in the cold
Then my mind ran out of space
So many stories untold
How would you feel
If I put my girls before the one I love
How would it feel
If every time you wanna talk
I turn the TV on
How would you feel
If when we're making love
I don't go down no more
So you know how I feel
Get ready cause a 3-6-0's about to go down
Taste this
You not a man
If I gotta tell you how to treat me (Oh)
And I'm not a woman
If I don't stand up in what I believe in
Taste that
50/50's it's suppose to be
But less than 25 is what you gave me
I just wish that all of it were true!!!!! Some days I just really wish that she would put all of those words into action. So as her friend I try to be patient. I try to sit back because I don't know what else to do. I never want to be in the middle of any relationship. Especially since I've been friends with both of them for the same amount of time. I just wish she'd really give him her 2 weeks notice! Ugh!!! She says she wants out...I know she's invested a lot, but honestly...No MAN or WOMAN for that matter, is worth the blood, sweat, and tears that she has suffered over these last years...No one deserves this treatment...No One...
So as her friend, what am I supposed to do? I pray for her all of the time. I pray for her strength. I pray for her patience. I pray for wisdom and that one day a light bulb will come on and she can finally say "ENOUGH!"
She reminds me every day why it's okay to be single sometimes. I never want to be in a situation or a "relationship" where I am always saying that having this "Man" is better than not having anyone at all...
Biggest Fear: One day a hand will be raised out of anger, and someone will physically get hurt... :(
I'm waiting and praying that her "Movin On" and "Take a Bow" and "Irreplacable" moment will come..........
I wait for the day that Self Love will outweigh Lustful Love...We all know that a physical relationship will never last...
So I ask for your prayers my friends...Pray for all women going through any type of abuse...Pray for those in bad relationships...Pray for those in relationships alone...Pray for those that are single and think that bad love is better than no love...
Like they say: I can do bad all by myself...
Sorry, folks, I just needed a moment to vent...
May his Peace be with each of you...
Always
[LOVE]
Forever
.: LA :.
Wow Lez.....Defintely praying for your friend is the right thing to do but I think as her friend, your allowed to say something ONE GOOD TIME. Like sit her down and read her the riot act or everything you wrote here. Tell her this is the only time you will speak on it and after that, you will go back to being her support and not give your two cents again.
ReplyDeleteI've got one chance to say something...so i want to make sure I say the right thing...
ReplyDeleteSome souls need hard situations that's the way to grow, we forgot our job here in the human condition, our soul no.
ReplyDeleteTheir egos is fighting with their souls, this is why "love is a batlefield" doesn't matter the way that they choice, finally the soul is the winner SURE!
Honestly we have all been in situations where we take a look back and we say to ourselves, "Why did I allow myself to be in that place for so long?" It may not have been in an abusive relationship but it was a dark place where we just didn't see at the time, the harm that we were allowing to be inflicted upon us. I can say that I have been in this very situation, not for 5 years, but my 3 doesn't make it any better. Unforunately a woman has to gain strength from within herself before she can learn not to depend on or feel the need of acceptance from a man. We often turn to the wrong outlets for the source of our well being and strength and once she realizes that loves source isn't within the security of having just ANY type of relationship with a man she will be able to walk away. Sometimes people have to hit rock bottom before they can begin to grow. The best analogy is one that Pastor mentioned this week regarding how a crop needs fertilizer to grow. But fertilizer is made of dirt and dung (hardship and struggle) but that dirt and dung can enrich our lives and make us grow tall, strong, and wise. I will pray that comes into a better place in the near future with herself and her relationships with others.
ReplyDelete