Wednesday, October 14, 2009

.: Mending and Healing :.

Ever been hurt?
Ever hurt someone else?
Ever had to heal?

Ever had to Repair a Ruptured Relationship?

Man, last night's sermon penetrated my heart in so many ways.

Points noted:
*You can't rupture something that you don't have
*If there is no investment, it's easy to move on
*If you can walk away without any stress, then there was never a relationship
*When you invest, when the relationship is meaningful, you will work to make it right


So I've evaluated some things during the past few months. I've been on an intense journey of stillness with God. I've learned about God, about self, and others. I'm working on self, as well as my relationship with God and others. It's amazing when you place yourself in a position that forces you to evaluate the current path or course that you're on. Man oh man have I had to re-evaluate some relationships.

I didn't realize that I was keeping some folks close to me, that I should have been letting go of. And so I've thought on these things for the last few months...And while on this journey, I've seen some relationships build, others go stronger, and some fall off. I'm okay with that. I've come to the conclusion that I don't have control over every aspect in my life. I've learned that there are battles not even worth fighting and that ultimately, GOD is in control.

I'm going to repair some ruptured relationships...



So.......

Current Struggle #1:
I am on a rocky course at work. After 2 years of busting my butt to get into the lead position for my team, in a matter of days, it is all being taken away from me. Why you ask? Some say I'm too young to be in the position. Some say I don't have enough education. Some might even say that I don't have the necessary experience. What they have forgotten to say, is how much the team has improved since I've been the acting Lead/Manager for my team. They have forgotten to acknowledge the improvements made, the strong supporting team, and the praise I receive from vendors. And yes, they may have forgotten how over the past 1.5 years, we have gone through SIX temps, but I've been the only one to survive and continue to grow in this position. None of that matters...None of that means anything to them. Instead I am dealing with people that have decided to help someone else who doesn't have the necessary experience. I'm being overlooked and now I may be working for someone that knows NOTHING about my position. But I guess since they have a certain piece of paper from a University, a couple of years of experience in management, and our friends with the right people, that it somehow qualifies them to take over my position.

So what do I do?--I have really had to learn the power and strength behind resting in God's will. I know that there is a reason that I'm going through this storm. I know that there is a reason that I'm fighting to stay alive right now. I have every intention to continue to rest in God's will.

How do I do it?--Through prayer, through hope, through forgiveness. It isn't a coincidence that we are learning about forgiveness in church right now. I have taken on a whole new understanding of the verse: "Forgive them Father for they know not what they do." Sometimes I wonder if people really think about some of the actions that they take.

Current Struggle #2--I had a weak moment. I broke a promise that I made to myself and to God. I didn't use my better judgement and now my mind is at a crossroad.

Biggest lesson learned: If the spirit says no...Say no. I also had to forgive myself. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory God.

Now what? I forgive myself, I love myself, and I ask God for forgiveness. From there, I work to get back in line with God's will. It was my decision and now I must endure the consequences.

After you've done all you can, you just stand!



And that's what I'm going to do...I'm going to stand on the promises of God. Stand in faith that he will see me through these storms...

With all of that said...my mind, body, and soul is tired...I'll be back with more later on...

As always, I'm here with a listening ear if you need me...

Peace and Blessings!

Always
[LOVE]
Forever

.: LA :.