Tuesday, June 23, 2009

How Young is too young? (Discussion Series Part I)

I just wanted to put the following question out there:

How young is too young to date? If you're 30, could you see yourself with someone who's 23 or 24? Is 3-5 years your limit? What about dating someone older?

Please post comments

Monday, June 22, 2009

He touched Me (Self Evaluation Part V)


This journey of stillness has been so interesting. As I sat in my moment of stillness this weekend, so many new things happened for me. For the first time in I don't know how long, I was actually able to sleep in on a Saturday morning. Even though I had obligations that afternoon/evening, to be able to wake up at 12:00 p.m. with no worries was STUPENDOUS!!!!(Insider to Aja lol) My dreams were quite interesting as well...There was one that I had where one of the Elders in my life told me the following statement: "I've seen a change in you, know that your husband is on his way".

This is very interesting to me. You see, I often pray and ask God that he speak to me when I sleep. Why you ask? No distractions from the outside world. So a lot of things that are set to happen in my life, actually happen in my dreams. Crazy you may say, but thats the way my life is. So I took this dream quite seriously, especially in my moment of stillness because I know he's trying to prepare me. My mindset has changed...I've begun to accept some things from people and myself. These are things that may or may not change about me as well as other people. There are things that I didn't see about people, and myself, that are being revealed to me. I've grown to accept these things, 'Flaws and All' right?!

Yesterday's sermon was great for me as well: 1 John 3:1-3
I took some notes for my own personal growth [A lot of things I already knew, but tend to lose sight of them when I'm going through]
* God is a Father that never turns his back (I appreciate that because even when friends fail me, or even when I fail myself, God is, and always will be there)
* God may not be my biological Father but he stands firm on his promise: "Lo I am with you always" (This is comforting to know because it's a good feeling to know that no matter what, there's always someone who will have my back)
* God's love engages me (He'll always comfort and keep me)
* Some people will only love me because of what I have right now. God loves me always! He takes me as I am! (No matter how many times I mess up, no how many times I fall, he'll always love me)
*There will be people that love me conditionally, but God loves me unconditionally. (Self-explanatory)
*He is the same Yesterday, Today, and Forever. (A blessing to know!)
* He will give me the desires of my heart
*I WILL praise him in advance
*Have Faith (God I trust you)

I praise him for where I've been, where I am now, and where he is taking me...

Who can separate me from the love of Jesus?! [I am SOULed out!]

Furthermore, in my moment, I'm learning to trust more than ever before. While I'm saying 'NO' to man, now is the time to say 'YES' to the Lord...

Songs of the moment:
"I'll Trust You" [James Fortune]
"Change" [Walter Hawkins]
"Yes" [Shekinah Glory Ministries]
"Souled Out" [Hezekiah Walker & LFCC]

Until next time...May God bless and Keep you...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Yes to your will/way (Self-Evaluation Part IV)

So over the last couple of weeks, I've been in a moment of Stillness. I have removed myself from certain activities, I have had to let go of certain committments and have gone into meditation. During this time, I've realized a lot about myself. When I thought I was fully giving myself to God, I really was not. I was so busy over committing myself to everyone else, that I wasn't leaving enough room for God to be a part of my life. I was walking around tired, and worn out. When I would get home, I was always too busy to open my bible like I should. I was too tired to fall on my knees and pray. I was being a lazy Christian, and I'm not ashamed to say it. I was so busy trying to handle everyone else's problems, that I was ignoring my own.

Yesterday, there was a recurring theme throughout my day. "Will your heart and soul say yes?" In my darkest/midnight hour, when I have no where else to turn, will my heart and soul still say yes to God. When God says No, will I still say yes? I went into meditation and I began speaking to God. I surrendered to his will and his way. I told him yes! So these next few weeks, I know God will continue to work on me. I'm still in a moment of stillness. He has committed me to him, and him only. So don't take it to heart if I can't be there all of the time like you would like me to be. God is preparing to take me to another level and I can't wait.

Until next time...

God is...

LA

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

* Sigh * Contemplation


Some songs are really hitting home these days. This is the chorus to "If" by Destiny's Child

[Chorus]
If You Don't Know
Now you Know You Going To Miss
My Love
And I Ain't Stressing Bout A Dawg On Thang
Cause I was True When I Gave You
My Love (My Love Yeahhh)

If You Search You Will Never Find Another Love Like My Love
You going To Miss Me I Ain't Got Time While You Sit Around
And Play With my Love (My Love)


Thoughts: So lately I've been wondering some things...I'm finally at a point in life where I'm really ready to let go and be free. Free to love, Free to live, Free to give...but I've been wondering if I've been sharing it with the right person/people. I've finally hit a point in life where I have more time then I really know what to do with lol. The roles have finally reversed. I was once the one that was always too busy, now I'm finally the one stuck waiting. I wonder if its a test of Patience, I know I have the patience to wait, but I want to make sure I'm waiting for the right person/thing. I also don't like to ever feel as though I'm ever pushing too hard for something, but I won't be taken for granted either...I don't know...

Random Thoughts.........................................

Still thinking

[I won't be waiting forever]

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Def Ears--


God I don't know where to begin
I'm so lost I can't even pretend
like the girl (guy) that I see
right in front of me
don't have control
she's like a friend to my heart
key to my future
lover of soul

crazy thing I didn't even know her (his) name
who she (he) was and where she (he) came from
but she (he) passed me this passion
pushed back my action like we couldn't deal
said something bout timing
paths not alining but I need her (him) still

left my heart with lovely stranger
one way street headed for danger
closed my eyes but still can't fade her (him)
she's (he's) been there for years
I've been hurt messin wit lesser
even though I do no better
I spend my nights writing love letters
landing on Def Ears

So I ask
can she (he) be
a simple friend also made for me
is it a phase
just passing by
or could she (he) be missing pieces in my life

God I ask u for clarity
there's an answer theres gotta be
if it was just a crush or infactuation I'd understand
but she (he) reaches for me
uses words when we speak
like I was her (his) man (woman)

left my heart with lovely stranger
one way street headed for danger
closed my eyes but still can't fade her (him)
she's (he's) been there for years
I've been hurt messin wit lesser
even though I do no better
I spend my nights writing love letters
landing on Def Ears

So I ask
can she (he) be
a simple friend also made for me
is it a phase
just passing by
or could she be missing pieces in my life

~Eric Roberson~

Just let it marinate

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

* Sigh * Ninjas Will be Ninjas (Ninja Chronicles part II)


So, I had a very interesting weekend.

Over the past 5 months or so, I've been getting these back to back calls from this strange man that I met back in January.

We originally exchanged numbers because we went to HS together and found out that we knew a lot of the same people. We chatted maybe for 5 min at the club and had 1 phone conversation back in January.

I should've known he was crazy!!!!! I remember the first time I didnt call him back, he questioned me! Fool, you don't know me!!!! I let it go. Then I noticed that he began calling me 2-3 times every Friday or Saturday...I would get random text that said "Did you forget about me Ma?" Leslie doesn't have kids so who is he calling Ma? I let it go...then I noticed that this was becoming routine. Like clockwork, I would get a 2-3 calls on a Saturday. If I silenced the call, he would call me right back. WTF?!?! Did you not get the hint?

I was afraid to delete his number because I knew that one day he would catch me when I wasn't paying attention and that I'd actually end up talking to this fool. So I programmed his name to say "Noooo please don't answer". That way I knew not to answer and if there was a chance that someone was answering my phone on my behalf, they would know not to answer as well...

So it's May (well it's June now lol) this MOFO is still calling me...So I kindly text messaged him saying "I'm not trying to be mean but could you please stop calling me" I got no response or call so I thought it was done and overwith...Mind you, the week before this fool had the audacity to call me at 1:50 a.m. Really fool?!

So on this past Saturday morning my phone rings, it's him. So I kindly text messaged him again...and here's how the convo went.

Leslie: I've already asked you once to stop calling me. So please stop.
Sir: What did I do?
Leslie: I don't like you calling me, and neither does my boyfriend.(Yes it was a lie, but it was necessary). Plus, you were very disrespectful when you called me at 2 in the morning. You don't know me like that.
Sir: B*tch get the f*ck outta here. You're a whore, just like in HighSchool. (Which I find Ironic since I was the innocentvirginchurchgirl...so how was this possible, plus he didn't know me)
Leslie: Wow really? You know what, I'm not even going to entertain your foolishness. Let's not forget that you were the one that was calling ME non-stop. Like, I said you don't know me like that.
Sir: Whatever, you know it was always about a nut.
Leslie: Ummm like I said, you don't know me so just stop
Sir: Whatever Slim

THE END

Lol FOOLYWANG!!! Really?! I found out that I know his Cousin quite well...Then it became clear. BITCHASSNESS runs deep in that family.

I don't have time for this type of foolishness...I'll be glad when God finally says its time for me to settle down with the Man he's made just for me.

Holla!