Wednesday, April 29, 2009


So what do you do when you find interest in someone, the feeling seems to be mutual but you find one person blocking the growth and development of any type of a relationship, and that person is the bestfriend who happens to be of the opposite sex?

So for instance, say you're interested in a guy but it seems like every time you see him, you also see his female bestfriend? I mean EVERYTIME...I have a lot of male friends but there's also a limit to the time we spend together. I respect his need and desire to develop a relationship with a female other than me lol. A relationship that may one day lead to something romantic. But how will you know if there is never any alone time?

He makes so many promises that he can't keep because he's too busy catering to the needs of his "bestfriends".

Am I selfish for wanting alone time?


  1. I don't think you're selfish at all: Who wants to be in a threesome all the time. However, I don't think the feelings are mutual :( Why wouldn't this person want alone time as well? I think it's best to just be up front and tell the person that you're interested in getting to know him better and you think it would be great if you could have just some "you and him" time. If he is interested, he'll make that time.

    P.S. Read Steve Harvey's new book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man." I found it to be insightful and very useful.


  2. Yeah, if he's into you, he'll the effort to make the time (notice I said effort... sometimes stuff happens but I think ppl can get a sense of whether someone's trying their best or if somehow "something" comes up every single time). I'd even venture further to say that the amount effort put into making time is proportional to how much he is wanting to be around you. Less effort, less interest. More effort, more interest.

  3. That's the funny thing...He always initiates now and falls I stopped paying him any's not fair for me to put my hope and faith in someone I know isn't putting forth the same effort.

  4. You're not selfish for wanting time alone with him, but if he is spending so much time with his "best friend(s)" who happen to be female, you are not a priority, and he is probably not looking to be in a monogamous relationship. That has "suspect" and "red flag" written ALL over it! Ignore him and he will get the picture. It's sad you have to do that, but you gotta play the game. Look for more tips in my upcoming book.... :-)

  5. Yeah girl...I definitely hit the ignore...but that just makes him come around even more lol...I can't help if my love is "like whoa" lol j/k

    Nah, I mean most of my blog posts are about past situation that i've already dealt with but want another perspective on how someone else would've handled the situation...but I appreciate y'all...Lets me know that I'm not the only one thinking this way...