Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Self Evaluation Part III

So I've been thinking on some things over the past few days. I've been contemplating the place that I am in, where I'm headed, etc. I've looked at my life and the things that I put so much time into and those that I don't put enough time into. I've evaluated my social/personal life, my work life, etc. I can honestly say that I'm not happy right now. There are things that make me happy, but I don't really have self-fulfillment at the moment. There are so many things that I want to do, but I don't have the necessary resources to get things done. The dating scene has been a bust. My job is stressing me out...My happiness comes and goes...My life has become a routine...I need to add some spice to my life. Hopefully with summer rolling around, I will have more to add to my scrapbook of life.

I was laughing to myself yesterday while watching "Superbad"...When the cops were talking about how you won't meet your wife in the bar, but instead at like Farmers Markets, Flea Markets, etc. lol I thought to myself, hmmm I like those type of things but I'm probably one of the few young African-American women that likes that kind of stuff. I used to go to those type of things with my mother...How come when I mention this type of stuff to some people, all of a sudden I'm so "white"? Why can't we enjoy these types of things? How come we aren't open enough to embrace other things?

I've been thinking about how I'm tired of the "club scene" and want to do different things with my time. Things like actually enjoying the day/weather...going on a picnic, bike riding, fishing, going dancing, listening to jazz on a rooftop with the summer air hitting my face...those are things I want to do. I have yet to find someone else with those type of interests and that includes friends as well as possible love interests.

What happened to everyone? What happened to spontaneity, freedom...
Am I the only one that feels this way?...

* sigh * I'm done for now

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