.: Still Trusting :.

Wow, what a journey this year has been...

A year ago, I found myself struggling with a lot of things.



*Trust*--in God, in myself, in family, in men.
*Sex*--I fell short of my commitment to abstain
*Love*--of myself and who I've become, to others, from others
*Commitment*--to God, to my calling, relationships

A lot of the issues I never shared with anyone. I just went on as though there were no real issues. I actually believed that a lot of the issues would just disappear and I would not have to make any changes within my life or within myself in order for things to go right. Foolish Mortal

It took a while but there were number of nights that I cried, and prayed...Nights that I had to be alone with just me and God. During this time, I watched as relationships crumbled...and others grew strong...I watched as things within me transformed...My spiritual life transformed...

I realized that in order to get where I needed to be, that I had to take a lot of necessary steps and let God lead me. These are all things I already knew, but I wasn't actively practicing.

back in early 06, I made a commitment to abstain from sex until I was in a committed relationship. During that time I dated a few men, but because they couldn't get down with my choice to remain abstinent, they had to float on...In October 09 I slipped made a mistake, but I quickly learned from it and changed my vow from abstinence to celibacy...

Many even now don't understand why I made the decision that I did. I hear so many comments "You'll never find a man that will wait" "You're crazy" "Do you really think a man will be faithful" And that's fine because one thing I will never do is compromise my morals and values for the sake of a man, or society...So I'm sticking to my guns!

With that said, I know that it means, I will be in my single season right now...and that's fine...But don't get me wrong, this is not a lifestyle for everyone, and I would never force my view points on anyone..This is the life I've chosen...You choose yours and live yours...

I'm gonna keep the faith that God is preparing someone just for me...that not only understands my life choices but also respects it more importantly. So I will continue to wait patiently for my day...

:: uoy deen I ::

Its sad to say but my heart can't seem to let go
Holding on to distant memories that haunt me
I try to erase but the mark you left is permanent
Etched deep within
I try to let go
But something keeps hold to the love birthed from our souls
I need you

I need you to remind me of why I left
Remind me of why the sleepless nights are better than the warm days kissed by your embrace
Remind me of why my hearts break outweighs the souls intake of real love
Remind me of why it is better to have a love lost than no love at all
And I need you

I need you to forgive me for foolishly believing that a life without you was better for me
Forgive me for selfishly deciding that a WE was no longer needed to make my soul happy
I need you

I need you to go with me
I need you to go back in time to the place where I left our love behind
Help me find it
Help me find me again
Cause in this time apart I lost myself
Tried to fill voids with useless boys that wanted nothing more than a quick hit
And that's why I need you

I need you to save me
Take me back to the place of butterfly kisses
Take me back to the scent of honey suckles on a Spring Day
I need you

I need you to fill me
Let your love overflow within me
Cause I just want to go back to the nights that I spent staring into your eyes
I just want to go back to the nights where my cries were of passion and not sadness
I want to go back to the time when I love you meant just that
I just want to spend time with you
Sit on the porch sippin tea
Reminiscin on all the memories
I want to play Hide N' seek
Play Tag in the rain and let you catch me
Cause you have managed to assure me that true love does exist
And my heart can't resist the desire to have you

And I want you

I need you

I crave you

The fact is...

I love you

Devotion for 9/28/11 How's your relationship with God?

Good Morning folks...Hope you've had a productive week. I've had some crazy days this week but nothing I can't handle...Here's the devotion for the day

Today's Topic: How's your relationship with God
Scripture Text: John 5:30

"I do not seek My own will but the of the Father who sent me"

The relationship Jesus had with His Father is the kind of relationship that He wants you to have with him. Three things describe that relationship. For today, let's look at Intimacy

Jesus said, "The Father loves the Son and shows him all he does" John 5:20 you interact with many people throughout the course of your day, but you only share your heart with those you trust, and with whom you have a close relationship. So, ask yourself this questions, "How close are you to God right now?" Are you close enough to hear God when he speaks to you? Close enough to know when you've said or done something which has grieved him? Cloe enough to feel the warmth of his presence? The truth is, you are as close to God right now as you desire to be, decide to be, and discipline yourself to be. Nothing is born unless there is first an act of intimacy between two people, and intimacy is based on one word: desire How much do you desire God?

David said, "O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you" Psalms 63:1

Do you desire His house? "They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink fromyour river of delights" Psalms 36:8

Do you desire his Word? "I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread" Job 23:12

We will continue with this lesson in to tomorrow...Be Blessed Folks!

Love me some you

:: LA ::

Today's Lesson: It's not yours to fight

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening Folks,

In light of yesterday's tragic events, I'd first like to send up a prayer. This prayer is not only for the family of Troy Davis, it's also for those who currently have family members and friends who are in jail, on death row, or have been executed, whether innocent or guilty. Amen


"Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord."
Romans 12:19

I thought I would touch on this issue because as I sat to reflect on yesterday's happenings and after reading posts throughout the media, this verse came to mind. I know that we have all been in a situation where we feel like someone has wronged us in some way or another. Our first instinct is to retaliate. We want to pay someone back for the wrong they did, and the hurt and pain they have caused us. Though easier said than done, God says "Vengeance is mine, I will repay" It gives us the freedom to walk away from a tough situation with the assurance that God will handle the situation. This keeps us from harming others, ourselves, and beginning a continuous trend of tit for tat. What good does it do any of us to continue to fuss and fight back and forth...building up anger within, causing strife and pain within ourselves and even within those close to us.

Here's the reality of God's wrath: the wrath of God is God’s settled anger toward sin expressed in the repayment of suitable vengeance on the guilty sinner. So why not let him fight your battles?

How many times have you been in a situation where you've done wrong to someone and the next thing you know, something went wrong in your life. It could be something as simple as playing a trick on a friend, and you turn around and trip over something or run in to something causing some type of physical harm or pain to yourself? I know it's happened to me...I learned a long time ago that nothing and no one here on Earth is worth more to me than my relationship with Christ, and my ticket to heaven. Don't set yourself up by trying to win a fight that God has already said he has under control. What you do here on Earth, you'll have to answer for when you get to heaven. Is it really worth it?

We may not agree with everything that Man does here on Earth, but rest assured that God is watching, and when Man tries to play God, God will handle it.

Those who fought to execute Troy Davis, and executed all those in the past who have been wrongfully accused, they have to live wit that every day for the rest of their lives. That internal struggle alone is punishment enough. The question is, what will they have to say when they get to those pearly gates? The question is, what are we going to do NOW so that this doesn't happen again?

I encourage you all to read Troy Davis' last letter to the people...--> http://redantliberationarmy.wordpress.com/2011/09/11/to-all-a-message-from-troy-anthony-davis/ It is a testament of faith and trust in God. I was inspired and encouraged and I hope you are too.

Let God fight your battles....That's my rant for the day...Stay positive, stay knowledgeable, stay informed...we owe to ourselves and the generations to follow...

Be Blessed Family!

:: LA ::

Daily Devotion for 9/20/11 Whom He Loves, He Chastens

Good Morning Folks! Happy Rainy Tuesday!!! I pray that everyone is well. Sorry about yesterday...work has me swamped but I couldn't let another day pass without sending out a devotion. So here we go...This is from the devotion I read from Joyce Meyers

Today's Topic: Whom God loves, He Chastens
Scripture text: Hebrews 12:6

For the Lord corrects and disciplines everyone whom He loves, and He punishes, even scourges, every son whom He accepts and welcomes to His heart and cherishes.
—Hebrews 12:6

When we need correction—and there are times when we all need it—I believe it is the Lord's first desire to correct us Himself. Whom the Lord loves, He chastens. God's correction or chastisement is not a bad thing; it is always and ultimately only for our good.

The fact that it works toward our good does not mean it always feels good or that it is something we enjoy immediately: "For the time being no discipline brings joy, but seems grievous and painful; but afterwards it yields a peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it [a harvest of fruit which consists in righteousness—in conformity to God's will in purpose, thought, and action, resulting in right living and right standing with God]." (Hebrews 12:11)

Correction is probably one of the most difficult things for most of us to receive, especially when it comes through another person. Even if we have problems, we don't want others to know we have them. I believe God prefers to correct us privately; but if we won't accept His correction or if we don't know how to allow Him to correct us privately, He will correct us publicly, using whatever source He needs to use. We may not always like the source God chooses to use, but it is wisdom to accept cor¬rection in order to avoid "going around the mountain one more time" (see Deuteronomy 2:3).

Be Blessed Family! I'll chat with you all soon!

Peace and Love,

:: LA ::

Daily Devotion for 9/15/11 Answer the Door

Good Morning Folks!!!

Joel & Victoria are on it this morning!! Keep reading after the devotion...



Answer the Door


TODAY’S SCRIPTURE

“...Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”
(Psalm 30:5, NKJV)

TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria

When you wake up each morning, God sends you a special delivery of joy. It’s like it comes knocking at the door of your heart every day. The problem is that some people never answer the door. It’s right there, month after month, year after year saying, “Come on! Let me in! You can be happy! You can cheer up! You can enjoy your life!” The way to answer the door is to get up and choose an attitude of faith and expectancy by declaring that “today is going to be a good day.” When you start the day like that, you are choosing to receive the gift of joy that God sent to you.

Today, make up your mind to answer the door to joy! Get up every morning and say, “Father, thank You for another beautiful day. I’m going to be happy. I’m going to enjoy this day because You are faithful. I’m going to brighten someone else’s life. I am choosing to receive Your gift of joy and passing it on to others because I love You, and I know that I am called for Your purposes!”

A PRAYER FOR TODAY

Father, thank You for the gift of joy every single morning. I choose right now to set my focus and heart on You. Help me, by Your Holy Spirit, to put You first each and every day so that I can know Your love and joy in everything I do in Jesus’ name. Amen.

— Joel & Victoria Osteen





I woke up this morning to my door, opened it and God was standing there telling me to come on through. Thank you Lord for Revelation in my time of need!!! If you see your door, go ahead and answer it...I guarantee what's on the other side will be exactly what you need. Enjoy Fam! Love Y'all...Whoo I'm hype this morning :)

God is soooooo good!

Peace and Blessings!

:: LA ::

Daily Devotion for 9/14/11 A heart that forgives

Good Morning Folks! Happy Wednesday to you all.

Today's Topic: A heart that forgives
Scripture Text: Psalms 130:4

"But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you."

This morning I woke up with the song "A heart that forgives" by Kevin Lavar http://youtu.be/iUV5T9JIJZ0 on my mind and heart. The last few days I've really had to face some things about myself. In asking God for forgiveness I hadn't forgiven myself or some others for things that I had done and they had done to me. I thought I had let it go but there are things I have been holding on to. I've been holding a grudge against people because they claimed to be a friend and in instant, had turned on me. And as I think about the verse that says "But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you." I said to myself, "How can I truly serve God, if I can't forgive like he forgives me" If I want to be more Christ-like, a part of that is knowing how to forgive, and doing just that.

So how do I let go? The grudge has tainted relationships, kept me from building others because I can't let go. I want to let it go! As the song plays in the background and tears form in my eyes, I'm reminded of these words, 1 Peter 5:7 "Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully." So God, on today, I let it go! I'm turning it over to you. I know that I can cast my cares upon you and that you will help me through this.

So what about you? Are there people that you haven't forgiven. The one thing that I have learned about forgiveness is that we don't forgive solely for the benefit of the one who wronged us. Forgiveness is for us too. It's how we find peace within a rough situation. How do you forgive through a difficult situation? Through faith...Surely if Christ can forgive those who crucified him, then we can forgive too!

So my prayer on today is that God forgives me and that he gives me the heart to forgive others and for me to forgive myself. By Faith I believe it will be done. So today God, I release the anger, the grudge, the unwillingness to forgive, over to you. I pray that you will give me heart that forgives.

And if I have ever wronged any of you, I ask for your forgiveness...In Jesus name...

I love you all and I'm praying for you...

:: LA ::